miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
