I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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