dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
