Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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