i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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