We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like iHOP with fire
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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