I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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