He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
