the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
