It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
