she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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