apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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