I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
