you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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