if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
