Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ugly people sure do ruin things
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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