That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
