Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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