I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
