I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
