Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
