I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
