Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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