Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize