It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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