She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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