she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
