Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
