Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
