it hurts more in the daytime
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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