It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize