I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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