I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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