I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
In America we eat man semen.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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