What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
