Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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