Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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