So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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