dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
