We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He has the fingertips of a God
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