I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there was a trapeze. enough said
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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