i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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