"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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