She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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