just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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