I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
