I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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