My vagina just recognized that song.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
