I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
