so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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