She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
