meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
