you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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