Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize