yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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