Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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