Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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