Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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