I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
