Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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