1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
