i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
