She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
