Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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