So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
