I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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