I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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