Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
