then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
